Whether you have been celebrating Valentine’s Day or not over the years, it can’t be denied that it’s an opportunity to demonstrate love for your partner
Is there an age beyond which you cannot show your significant other that you love and care for him or her? You just need to watch an endearing Balraj Sahni seranade a shy Achala Sachdev in the song ‘Aye Meri Zohra Jabeen’, from the 1965 classic Waqt, to realise that there is no age bar for romance!
The naysayers may still argue that why should there be one particular day, Valentine’s Day, in the year to show love? The counter: having a special day to celebrate love and rekindle romance enriches a relationship.
And, this is backed by experts. Dr Kristen Mark, a sex and relationship researcher, writes in the Psychology Today that celebrating Valentine’s Day is good for a relationship for four reasons. It’s an opportunity to spend quality time, it cultivates “empathetic joy”, it’s a chance to express gratitude to your partner and it’s a way of demonstrating relationship investment.
It may not be everyone’s style to celebrate with cards, chocolates, flowers, stuffed animals, balloons, expensive gifts, movie or concert tickets or pricey dinners. Discuss how you want to build shared memories with your partner – it could be as simple as going on a long walk and getting close to nature.
We spoke to three Ahmedabad-based women (the menfolk were reticent!) to find out whether Valentine’s Day holds significance for them. And, what their message is for young couples to keep their relationship vibrant and strong.
Being a writer, Darsha Kikani waxes almost poetic. She says: “For my husband Rajesh and me, every day is Valentine’s Day! We have been married for 43 years and celebrate every moment of our lives. When we do something new and innovative, we celebrate that experience. When we meet old friends, we celebrate the shared happy memories. When our grandchildren visit us, we celebrate that joy. When we help someone in need, we celebrate the gratitude in their eyes. When we meet young children, we celebrate their innocence.”
Darsha’s message: “Give love, respect and happiness to get the same things in return.”
Sima and Snehal Shah have been married for 32 happy years. Says Sima, a dietician and businesswoman: “After 50 especially, we should take every opportunity to enjoy and have fun. And, that’s what Valentine’s Day is about. For me, going out for dinner or even a long drive is celebration enough. We have never exchanged gifts on that day. Today, our daughters are also our valentines!”
Sima’s message: “Give each other space and never give unsolicited advice.”
Says yoga therapist Nipa Shah: “Though we have not celebrated Valentine’s Day in the last 37 years of our marriage, I think it is a good idea for any age group. There should be one special day for couples. Spending quality time with each other is the best way to celebrate the day. Personally, I would not want anything materialistic. My husband Parag and I are deeply attached to each other, but life has flown by. We have never thought of having a special celebration on February 14.”
Nipa’s message: Remain calm and do not overreact to what your partner says or does.
By: Aruna Raghuram